So there was a post at Ren's that made my head explode and she decided to shutdown comments (understandable since was a derail in the first place), so I thought I'd continue here and everyone can feel free to be angry and vitriolic on my time.
These issues have been talked about elsewhere, so I'll start with that....
The reason "Why didn't she leave" is victim blaming - See La Lubu's comment here
"Why, on even feminist blogs, do people assume the victim to have a major flaw, rather than as a person with few resources attempting to fend for herself? Police go in with cadres of armed companions when confronting violent criminals—yet we expect DV victims to “just leave”."
A good explanation of why many victims don't file criminal charges - From DOJ
"The period between arrest and trial can be an especially dangerous and intimidating time for victims in cases of intimate partner violence. It is also a time when the criminal justice system’s legal control over defendants is limited. In most jurisdictions, defendants are released on bail while awaiting trial. And despite the court’s imposition of “no contact” conditions of bail for a majority of defendants..., experience has shown that the pretrial phase (between arrest and the trial) is the time when an accused person is most likely to try to influence the victim’s testimony and the outcome of a case. Some attempts to influence victims appear to be desperate pleas for forgiveness; others clearly involve threats of physical harm or death."
Yeah, so in short:
(1) Asking why she doesn't just leave or why she puts up with it is victim blaming because it focuses on what she should have done rather than on the actions of the abusers. It makes her responsible for what happens.
(2) It's dangerous to get a TRO or to file criminal charges. They don't just lock the abuser up immediately and throw away the key...there are things called bail and whatnot...I know...shocking.
Because We Need It: Timoclea
22 hours ago